bell hooks in We Real Cool, p. 120
[the conundrum of how ‘black solidarity’ is usually viewed as being impeded by black females… as black females are too “independent” when in actuality, we are the most “down” for our men than a lot of other demographics]
bell hooks in We Real Cool
bell hooks in We Real Cool
Let me tell you about love, that silly word you believe is about whether you like somebody or whether somebody likes you or whether you can put up with somebody in order to get something or someplace you want or you believe it has to do with how your body responds to another body…
Love is none of that. There is nothing in nature like it… Love is divine only and difficult always. If you think it is easy you are a fool. If you think it is natural you are blind. It is a learned application without reason or motive except that it is God.
You do not deserve love regardless of the suffering you have endured. You do not deserve love because somebody did you wrong. You do not deserve love just because you want it. You can only earn — by practice and careful contemplation — the right to express it and you have to learn how to accept it. Which is to say you have to earn God. You have to practice God. You have to think God — carefully. And if you are a good and diligent student you may secure the right to show love. Love is not a gift. It is a diploma. A diploma conferring certain privileges: the privilege of expressing love and the privilege of receiving it.
How do you know you have graduated? You don’t. What you do know is that you are human and therefore educable, and therefore capable of learning how to learn, and therefore interesting to God, who is interested only in Himself which is to say He is interested only in love. Do you understand me? God is not interested in you. He is interested in love and the bliss it brings to those who understand and share that interest.” — Paradise by Toni Morrison (pg 141)
Many women who are warm and openhearted choose men who are closed and shut down because we hope we can provide a catalyst for them to open up. Our efforts usually fail, because these men have not made their own commitment to being more open. Trained to be nurturers and caregivers, women often think we are behaving as we should - doing what we have been socialized to believe is a woman’s job. We may even experience the constant tension between these two different value systems - a man who has chosen to avoid intimacy and a woman who desires intimacy - as stimulating. Importantly, though, this unfulfilling work keeps us from the real work of intimacy.” —bell hooks, Communion: the Female Search for Love (via puzzledpantherrr)
that no matter how broken, how lost we are, we can be found.
Our wounded souls are never beyond repair. Black females and
males can use this myth to nurture the memory of sustained
connection with one another, of a love that has stood and can
stand the test of time and tribulation. We can choose a love
that will courageously seek out the wounded soul, find you,
and dare to bring you home again, doing what must be done to
help put the bits and pieces together again, to make us whole.
This is real cool. This is real love.” —Bell Hooks - We Real Cool (via madriche)
The sexist, misogynist, patriarchal ways of thinking and behaving that are glorified in gangsta rap are a reflection of the prevailing values in our society, values created and sustained by white supremacist capitalist patriarchy. As the crudest and most brutal expression of sexism misogynistic attitudes tend to be portrayed by the dominant culture as always an expression of male deviance. In reality, they are part of a sexist continuum, necessary for the maintenance of patriarchal social order.” —bell hooks,”Gangsta Culture - Sexism and Misogyny: Who will take the rap?” (via wretchedoftheearth)