Audre Slept with Men: Keepin it “Real” and The Struggle for “Authenticity” as a Black Lesbian
I question my commitment to my politics as a Lesbian, not when I am asked to love other Lesbian women, but when I am asked to love non-lesbian women. As a lesbian, does my love for women end at what is sexual or what is romantic? How can I walk through the world as a lesbian and be unconcerned with the suffering and issues of non-lesbian women. How can I walk through the world unconcerned with the rising rates of HIV among heterosexual Black women. How could I have walked through the world unconcerned with the shackling of pregnant Black women in prisons? How can I ignore that Black women are being incarcerated at rates disproportionate to other women? How can I not care for the well-being of non-lesbian Black women who are dependent on the welfare of the state? As a lesbian, my politics, are centered in and committed to the loving of ALL women. As Audre writes,
“…the true feminist deals out of a lesbian consciousness whether or not she ever sleeps with women.” - Audre Lorde
Too often, are we to define the authenticity of lesbian identity through her sexual choice. We question the commitment of a lesbian-identified woman by asking rather she occasionally sleeps with men or not. Audre Lorde identified as a Lesbian, but she openly admitted to willingly sleeping with men, and enjoying it. Are we to question the lesbian authenticity of Audre Lorde? Audre held a deeper commitment to a lesbian consciousness, a political and emotional commitment to the loving of women. The basis for loving women should not be dependent upon a narrowing existence of sexual exclusivity. A woman’s choice to fully explore the spectrum of her sexuality should not be the basis for exclusion from the lesbian community. To LOVE Black women is to be committed to the growth, happiness, and well-being of ALL Black women (lesbian and non-lesbian). Our relationships with men, also should not serve as the basis from determining one’s commitment to a lesbian-identified self, to identify as a woman-identified-woman, should not negate our ability and capacity to develop relationships with men. We cannot exists as agents for change, progress or liberation if we are to define our identities from a position of opposition.We are not created to live in separation from the “other,” but we are created and existing to reach a holistic self. To become self-actualized, to reach and explores one’s full potential. We must recognize our differences and work creatively to overcome obstacles and enhance our lives with self-defined purpose and meaning. We are not created to live in separation from the “other,” but we are created and existing to reach a holistic self.
