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Posts tagged black men.
Faggots, Women, & Sucking Dick
A young Black man announced to me yesterday, “Any MAN who sucks another MAN’S dick, is a FAGOT!” What I inferred from his tone, is that a FAGGOT is someone who is less than a man. But what does this say about a WOMAN who chooses to “suck a man’s dick.” Is it okay for her, because women are already seen as less than? This type of rhetoric implies that anyone who is receptive sexually or who is penetrated (including orally) is less than, and because women are biologically inclined to be receptive, is inherently less than. A male has a choice, to be a penetrating partner or a receptive partner, however by making the decision to be receptive, whether it’s anally or orally, he has relegated him self to the position of a woman, which in this society has always been a position that is less than a man.
Dean Steed, (Creator of DaughterofZami)
Black Manhood: Moving Toward Wholeness
”A man who is working toward wholeness has to be a strong man because he is swimming against a strong current. He is building a safe space to ask himself difficult questions. He is looking beneath the anger he feels and moving toward hope. He is chipping away at the shackles of racism and sexism and homophobia. A man working toward wholeness might love the feel of his hand on the small of a woman’s back, cherish the sound of her voice, and value her words. A man working toward wholeness appreciates the survivor in a black woman. A man working toward wholeness can love lingerie and long talks. I know men like this. I thank God/des for them. It is easy to be a woman around such men. A woman- not a pinup, not remote-control flesh, not a nameless/faceless hole -a thinking, breathing, living, complex being. There is a grace to true manhood.”
- Mariahdessa Ekere Tallie, “On Solace”
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Those of us who are concerned about the high rates of gender violence in our communities must be troubled by the possible connections between these images and tolerance for violence against women. Children and teenagers are listening to this music, and I am concerned that the range of acceptable behavior is being broadened by the constant propagation of anti-women imagery. I’m concerned too, about young Black women who, like young men, are learning that their value lies between their legs. Unlike men, however, their sexual value is a depletable commodity; by expending it, girls become whores and boys become men.
— Kimberle Crenshaw, from “Beyond Racism and MIsogyny: Black Feminism and 2 Live Crew”
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… I silently witnessed the sacred ritual as they took turns waxing many variations of one sermon: “Ain’t no ass better than new ass.” The congregation was mostly the brothas on athletic scholarship, imported like pandas to Liberal Arts USA from concrete jungles. Their WASP jock teammates and hippie “trouble men” hallmates brought offerings to the pews as well, and all kept the King James remix of Snoop’s Doggystyle on their nightstands. Every man prayed to pimp like brothas, even the brothas themselves. The communion hymn was “We Don’t Love Them Hos” and when Pastor got good and right he’d holler: “Show me a fine-assed woman and I’ll show you a man who’s tired of fucking her.” Let the church say Amen.
— Lisa Pregram, “Remote Control: Romance vs. Promiscuity in Mainstream Hip-Hop”
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I, like most Black men I know, have spent much of my life living in fear. Fear of White racism, fear of the circumstances that gave birth to me, fear of walking out my door wondering what humiliation will be mine today. Fear of Black women -of their mouths, their bodies, of their attitudes, of their hurts, of their fear of us Black men. I felt fragile, fragile as a bird with clipped wings, that day my ex-girlfriend stepped up her game and spoke back to me. Nothing in my world, nothing in my self-definition prepared me for dealing with a woman as an equal. My world said women were inferior, that they must, at all costs, be put in their place, and my instant reaction was to do that. When it was over, I found myself dripping with seat, staring at her back as she ran barefoot out of my apartment.
— Kevin Powell
“… if African American men need women to bring their masculinity into being, then women who seemingly challenge that masculinity become targets for Black male violence. Educated Black women, Black career women, Black women sex workers, rebellious Black girls, and Black lesbians, among others who refuse to submit to male power, become more vulnerable for abuse. Violence against “strong” Black women enables some African American men to recapture a lost masculinity and to feel like “real” men.”
- Patricia Hill Collins, from Black Sexual Politics
